He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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