i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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