In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
