Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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