The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
