that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
