Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
