I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
