well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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