Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
why do cheetos always look like penises
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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