i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka