im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.