There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
