So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
