i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
