Plan B is the new Plan A
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
