so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
