We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
