Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
In other news, I just burned my penis
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
