You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
