we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
