The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
