Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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