think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize