Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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