chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize