I'm drive I can fine osifer
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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