Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
