butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
