I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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