then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
