oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have fence marks all over my body
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
