I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
