I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
