I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize