My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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