i don't plan on having that self control this summer
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
