Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
