found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
