In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
