come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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