Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
