How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize