Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
They took my balls.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
