I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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