break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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