dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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