i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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