i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize