Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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