hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
