Sry I called you an 8
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize