i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
