i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
