You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
