real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
