Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
