She's JV to your varsity
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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