Duck Duck Cougar?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
