I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
