Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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