oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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